Wiseau your moves! a psychological thriller
by DemickyFellow
Summary: Johnny is adjusting to his life on the planet earth. He has his fiancee, great friends, a job he always gets passed up for promotions at. but his life is about to make a change for the merst.


Written by James and Aleks

its the end of a long day and Johnny was tired. The day had ended like any other. Johnny had just sealed a big deal with a large firm and had been passed up for a promotion. He had just arrived home to find his fiancee, Lisa, wearing a short crimson dress. she was waiting for him. Johnny presented to her, an upside down bouquet of red flowers he had got from the foreign flower shop (im guessing this because the exchange there looked like it was dubbed.) She scanned her prime directive for a proper response and underperformed her reaction of joy. Johnny didn't notice as he too was unfamiliar with how humans respond to things. Johnny hurried upstairs to finish preparing a surprise. he had lined the bed with various parts of roses. it consisted of mostly petals but it included stems, thorns, and a literal uprooted rose bush he found in his boss' office. Johnny's lizard body has physical desires for lisa's cold metallic frame. tonight was for belly-humping romance. he called to Lisa and said

"i have some fing for you!" Lisa looked attentive. her expression was more blank than a chalkboard with writer's block, but she tried to be flirty. Just then, a figure burst through the door.

"hey guys, can i join?" it was one of the many clones of Dinnee, their long dead teenage neighbor.

"Nah son, we wanna be alone if yanno what i mean~ n3o" Johnny said in his "american" accent. the clone appeared to be disappointed.

"i get it… you wanna be alone" the Dinnee clone jumped out the window and flapped his arms with all his might and took flight, such is the way of his people. Just as Johnny was about to return to lisabot, another clone burst into the room and the exchange happened all over again. this happened until all 376 clones were accounted for and had taken flight. then, lisabot slithered into bed and starts seeping hormonal body oil. Johnny responds by shedding his outer shell and reveals his true pale lizard sexman body. Lisa flopped around awkwardly in bed.

"ahaeheheheheheee" she giggled. Johnny flips a switch on his groin. a whirring of gears can be heard as a pole .75 inches in diameter slowly extends from johnny/lizard man's crotch.

"i am erect" he declared. Boiling noises can be heard from lisabot's chassis. steam blows out of her vagina.

"oops, you made me hot" Lisabot eyed Johnny lustfully.

"anything for my princess." lizard johnny levitated three feet into the air, flipped forward until he is fully horizontal and floats forward until he is completely over lisabot 100. he slowly descended. then, lisabot 1000's internal clock read that it was past the time in which humans go to bed, and initiated sleep simulation protocol. Johnny, disgruntled that his plans for the night have been unfulfilled, used the crank adjacent to his junk to retract his erection. unable to have sex, he decided to assume his human form again, and eat one of dinnee's clones. he shall be well nourished for a week.

just as he was about to do so, lisabot malfunctioned, shut down, and leaked coolant onto the bed. just before leaving, he calls the repair claudroid, as she shall be a while. a few hours pass. claudroid walks into the apartment as johnny toasts two dinnees on a spit, over a bonfire he had started in the kitchen. The repairbot gets to work. she always treats the bots under her care like her children. after claudroid replaces lisabot's hormonal synchronizing chamber, lisabot 10000 springs back up and reboots. Johnny, after finishing a hefty meal, greets his fiancee as the bots enter the living room. the couple sit on the couch, as claudroid has an announcement.

"well, the results are in. I definitely have robot breast cancer" the couple are unfamiliar with the concept. Claudroid immediately clarifies she will not die, because of the poor writing. Johnny bursts into a tirade about being the greatest director ever. then there was a knock at the door. everyone turned to the door as it opened.

it was a robot. Best friend model : mk 1 was johnny's best friend in the whole wide world. of course that doesn't account for johnny's home planet. they all chanted in unison

"oh hi mark"


End file.
